river rapids approaching

I feel like I have been on a raft floating in a lazy river the past couple of months. Dipping my feet into the water, splashing my hands, jumping in to get wet and cool off just to get back on and bask in the sun some more.  Enjoying every moment of the slow motion, taking it all in. The easy life.  With school quickly approaching I am feeling like the current is picking up a bit.  Knowing that the rapids will soon hit and fearing the impending fall!  Can I survive it?  I'm not sure.  How big is the drop?  I won't know until I get there.  Sound dramatic?  It is.  You haven't met my daughter.  Her first day of kindergarten has scarred her and myself for life.  Last year looked a little like this:

 Smile big girl, it's your first day of school...

After the struggle of getting her into the car we arrived at school.  I walked her/ pulled her to her classroom where the big crocodile tears started (for both of us).  Then all of a sudden my sweet little angel completely lost it.  She started screaming that she is NOT going in there and started running off the campus.  Oh crap!  I knew I could handle the tears and all but not the lunatic behavoir.  This might sound harsh but there were other parents video taping their children and quickly panned their cameras onto my daughters one girl show.  "NO, I will NEVER go to school.  I AM OUTTA HERE!!".  As she was running off, I was hobbling after her (I just had my muscle biopsy surgery and was still in pain) while my 3 year old was starting to freak out.  NO, I can't handle both of them like this right now.  At this point I was standing by the classroom, watching my daughter throw tantrums and run off and I started getting really really mad that my husband wasn't there.  I asked way in advance that he make sure to be there for me (and for her) but just like the first day of preschool, he couldn't get anyone to work for him for that 1 hour.  The longest hour of my life!!

 It was traumatic!

The good news was that she got to come home to these.

I'm not as worried this year because she will be in class with a WONDERFUL teacher and have her same best friends with her.  I have been talking to her about going back and I can see the nerves already. With a lot of prayer I think we can make it through her first day.  

It's the NEXT day I'm worried about... my baby starts preschool.  {insert crocodile tears here}  

I'm not sure how it is possible because he was just born yesterday, see:

He has already started with the I'm not going schpeel.  My husband WILL be there for this.  Even if he has to bring the entire fire department with him, he will not leave me alone to do this again!  Otherwise, I will just bring the kids back home with me and full time homeschool.