Monday, January 30, 2012

walk through life

Even on cloudy days, the sun will rise.  If you are looking for the beauty, you will see it.

When you walk through life with your eyes closed, you might miss seeing all the beauty.
When you walk through life with your mind closed, you might not see all the other possibilities.
When you walk through life only listening to the negativity, you might not be able to hear the sound of peace.  The children's laughter that brings a smile to your face, the birds chirping in the morning, the stories that other people are telling.  You might miss out on so much love and happiness.
If you walk through life thinking only negative thoughts, you might not see how much positive life there is.  You might not see the billions of miracles right in front of you.
If you walk through life feeling like a victim, you might not be able to feel the joy you have inside.  We have all been victimized in some sense.  Victims of poor health, victims of failed marriage, victims of violence, victims of losing a loved one.  But we all have the choice to not let that ruin our lives.  We have the choice to see, hear, feel, know that there is more life and love in the world than hate.
We are all miracles in this life.  Let us not waste a moment on hate, anger, jealousy.  Instead, take this short time we have to feel with all we are, love with the intent to give joy.
Keep your eyes open to see the beauty in all circumstances because I promise, it is there.
Use your ears to listen with compassion.
Keep your mind open to all possibilities so you don't miss that life changing opportunity.

Saturday, January 28, 2012


Here is an easy 3 ingredient crock pot chicken recipe.
I am not the type of person that follows directions or recipes... I take ingredients that sound good or from other recipes and I piece it together in whatever amount seems right.

Here are the ingredients:
chicken thighs (you can use any parts of the chicken)
1 can of Canada Dry soda (I'm sure any kind of soda would work)
1 bottle of BBQ sauce (any flavor you want)

In any order you feel like, put it all together in the crock pot and mix.
That's it!
Cook on low for around 6 or 7 hours (I did 7 and it was a little dry)

step one: gather ingredients

step 2: pour sauce into crockpot

step 3: pour canada dry into crockpot

step 4: add chicken

step 5: mix all together

step 6: eat and enjoy

Monday, January 23, 2012


perseverance. everyday.
James 1:2-3
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

"Joy to the world
All the boys and girls
Joy to the people everywhere you see
Joy to you and me"

"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that she is someone today."
~Stacia Tauscher

"While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about."
~Angela Schwindt

Friday, January 20, 2012


"Mom, do my ears stick out?" Alexis asked as she was gazing into the mirror.
"No, sweetie!  Your ears are perfect" I said as a familiar pit in my stomach formed.
"Billy said they stick out, but I don't think so." She is still looking in the mirror, holding her hair half up and turning her head back and forth to check them out.
First grade!  She's only in first grade and I already have to deal with this.  I don't remember getting made fun of until I was older but once it started it was brutal.  So bad that the police were involved in one incident.  I was made fun of ruthlessly for being flat chested.  I was 11.  Back then girls didn't even hit puberty or grow boobs until they were at least 13.  I was made fun of for having hairy arms.  I was made fun of for having a long face.  My pants were pulled down as I was getting off the bus.  Girls cornered me in the locker room asking me why I didn't like some guy.  One girl stole my purse, it had my glasses and a key chain that my parents brought back from vacation.  This was all during middle school and I hated going to school every single day.  I was not popular and I did not have a lot of friends.  I was insecure, anorexic, depressed, lonely, and hated my life.
The bullies got the best of me and when I hear that my daughter is already hearing mean things it really upsets me.  I told Alexis that she is beautiful and to not get upset by what other people say.  She said she really didn't care about it, shrugged her shoulders and quickly moved on.  Nothing was said again.  Fast forward one month to the day I volunteered in her class.  Alexis was so excited and of course so was I.  She is only at school 3 days a week and home schooled the other 2 but those 3 days she is gone seem to last forever.  Her group came to the floor where I was sitting waiting to start their assignment.  Alexis and I giggled out of excitement and Billy said, "Why are you always so happy when your mom is here?"  I said it's because we love each other and we love to spend time together.  He said he preferred being alone and not with his parents.  I started to see a little insight into this boys life.  Then he asked why Alexis had a shiny head and I had a bumpy head.  Confused I just shrugged it off and tried to get the group to focus.  He wasn't ready to let this go.  "Why do you have bumps on your face" he asked while pointing to my 'blemishes'.  "You know, those pimples."  Ok buddy!  You are not taking me down!  I did my best to keep my middle school feelings deep down and speak to him like the grown up that I am.  Um, Billy... that is very rude to say to someone.  That makes me sad and it hurt my feelings.  You shouldn't point things out to people, ok?  I know, the fact that I have such bad acne is an issue but that is not the point right now!  (At the age of 4, it would be acceptable for a child to point out but not at 7)  Well, about 15 minutes before I was going to leave, Alexis got a tummy ache.  The same one that she has been getting for weeks now.  It hurts really bad, she cries, goes to the bathroom and is ok.  She continued to cry the rest of the time saying she didn't want me to leave and she hated school.  I left, got in my car, called my husband and cried just as hard as she did.  What if these tummy aches are more than just nerves.  What if she has some GI issues going on and I'm just brushing it off to emotions?  It turned out that Billy later called her and some of her friends some pretty mean names.    He made fun of her for crying at school.  (glad he didn't see me crying) Luckily, she has a fantastic teacher and the situation was addressed immediately. Alexis didn't even tell me that he said mean things, one of the other moms did.  I was telling my husband about it and I told him I was so confused why Alexis didn't say anything to me and his response was, "Welcome to parenthood... you'll be the last to know everything."  Seriously?  Already?
I can't protect every minute of her life.  I can't keep bullies away from her.  I can only pray that she will be strong enough to ignore them and not let any words affect her the way they affected me.  I can only pray that she will be more sensitive to others and never tease or bully anyone herself.  I can only pray that she knows God is with her all the time and will help her through anything.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Walk and Roll

Team Walk and Roll is doing something to make a difference, will you  help?

As many of you know,  I became sick 2 years ago and have since been diagnosed with mitochondrial myopathy.
For me, the disease affects:
*muscles ~ causing muscle weakness and fatigue
*nerve pain
*blood sugar problems
*slurred speech
*bladder and bowl problems
*breathing problems
*heart palpitations
The list goes on but I am extremely lucky.  With all of all these symptoms, none of them are severe and they are intermittent.  I appear to function normally except for the occasional legs giving out and other unpredictable issues.  A day doesn't go by where I don't think about the progression of the disease.  But a day also doesn't go by where I am grateful for the beautiful life I have.

My neurologist recommended I get hooked up with the Muscular Dystrophy Association in San Diego.  I did.  They have been so wonderful!  They have welcomed my family with open arms.  Everyone who works there is so kind and caring.  The MDA has provided me with a motorized wheel chair and a transport chair to make getting around easier.  They offer ways to adapt my life with my new limitations.  They have ongoing research for all of the muscle diseases.  They have summer camps for kids that are affected. They offer support.

The MDA is hope.

For everything that they do for families affected by muscle diseases, we knew we needed to give back.  February 26th we will be walking (I will be rolling) in the annual 5K Muscle Walk in San Diego.  We are trying to raise as much money as we can for them.

If you would like to donate to the MDA please click here.  You can donate to the team, anyone on the team or myself.  Your help is extremely appreciated.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

a special date

While the boys are away, the girls will play.
Anthony and Wyatt went on a boys off-roading trip leaving Alexis and I a full day to do all the girly things we wanted. 

 Off we go...

 First stop was the nail salon.

 We dined at our favorite restaurant where we played 20 questions and I learned her favorite color was not what I thought it was.  It will also probably change in another week.

And then we finished our day off we some serious shopping.  There is a second hand boutique called Sweet n Sassy  in our town that is the best place to shop!  We both scored and it didn't even put a dent in my pocket.  All of the items are between $2-$8 and many of them have the original tag on.  Can't beat that.  

We are home now resting.  Pretty sure I over did it since my muscles are extremely sore.  Good thing I planned ahead and put dinner in the crock pot this morning.

I loved the extra bonding time on the special date with my special girl.  Days where its just the 2 of us, no interruptions, nothing that has to get done.  Ending the day feeling recharged in our love.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


We all have it.
We all need it.
We want more of it, rarely wanting less of it.
It goes by so fast and at times it seems to go by so slow.

What is time?
Does it even exist?

"Hurry up, you are wasting time."  How many times have you heard that one?  How can anyone actually waste time?
"Hurry up, we don't have time."  Really?  No time? I have plenty of it.
"We are going to be late, there is no time."  That's not possible, or is it?
"No, I can't, I don't have time"
I have been guilty of saying these myself.
The stress and anxiety I feel when I hear these words isn't necessary.

I think society has put too much pressure on time.  We have deadlines, time limits, and only 24 hours in one day to complete all tasks that somehow feel they must be completed.  And for what?  To win?  If we were to live each day with out the worry of getting it all done (which by the way, it will never be all done) wouldn't life feel more peaceful?  If it weren't a race as to who finished first?  Who accomplished more?  Who over committed the most?  Who had the longest list?  When you finish and you look back, was it worth it?
Did you enjoy it?

I want to do less rush and have more time.  More time for seeing, breathing, listening.  More time for living for me and less time rushing for someone else.

When I was in school I would stress when I thought I was running out of time to complete an assignment.  I didn't care how well it was, just as long as it was done on time.  Totally defeats the purpose of learning.  I wish I would have taken my time.  I would have learned more.  Although I did learn, because now I can teach my kids to not rush.

Because we have time

Life isn't a race.  Life is about enjoying the journey. 

I will take my time.
I will enjoy what I am doing with my time because you can't be wasting time while enjoying it.

Monday, January 9, 2012


I have spent too much time this week feeling sorry for myself thinking I was unappreciated, undeserved, overworked and underpaid.  Pretty sure it's all hormonally related but nonetheless it was ridiculous and real.  I haven't been feeling very well.  The good times are great but when I have the bad times they are much worse.  New symptoms that just plain ol suck.  Normally I will allow myself to throw a pity party for 20 minutes tops.  After that, whatever I was bummed out about I must fix it or move on.  To me, there is nothing worse than looking back at the end of the day realizing I was pouting for most of it.  It means I wasn't present or soaking in the beauty.  It means I was letting my family down.  It means I wasn't fun to be around.  I can't get that day back and now I can't get the week back.  It feels wasted.
I realized I wasn't paying enough attention to what I am grateful for.  I was focusing too much on what I didn't have and not enough on what I do have.  I looked back on my week and realized how much wonderfulness I had right in front of me.

I am grateful for the beautiful sunrises every morning.

I am grateful for the amazing 80 degree weather we have been having... in January!

I am grateful that we can run through the sprinklers... in January!

I am grateful this beauty is my daughter.

I am grateful she can scratch her own back.

I am grateful she likes vegetables from our garden.

I am grateful I can always count on this goofball to put a huge smile on my face.

I have no reason to throw a pity party around my family, even for 20 minutes.  If I need to, I will save it for night time when everyone is asleep because lets face it... that's not a party anyone wants to go to.

*** check out the buttons on the top right of this page... I added a Facebook page, Twitter (which I haven't even figured out yet) and Pinterest... I'm all over this social media now***

Monday, January 2, 2012

A fresh start

A new year
A fresh start
A clean slate

I was a child cleaning my room while my mom was cleaning the Christmas decorated house.  My New Years Resolution neatly written and pinned to my wall (old school style with a real push pin on a real wall)
#1 always read: I will keep my room clean
#1 was always broken half way through January.  I love a clean room, I love a clean house but I am and always have been just too lazy to pick up after myself.  Now I have 3 other people (plus 2 dogs) to clean up after.  Instead of setting myself up for failure and disappointment, I won't be adding #1 to my list this year, or ever again.
It is Jan 2nd and my house is clean.  If it stays this way, it's a bonus but it certainly isn't what I will be working on this year.  My resolutions will all be internal and on self improvement.

A time to build on love
A time to build on hope
A time to build on happiness

What are your resolutions this year?
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