Don't judge me

You can't judge a book by it's cover so don't judge a chick by her body

A disabled person placard.  It's mine.  Just got it today.  At first I was really looking forward to getting one when the doctor reminded me that I would be able to do more because I could park closer and not waste my energy in the parking lot.  But it says disabled person.  That's not me.  That's definitely not what I want.  The kids were really excited about it though because they are lazy.  If they could be carried everywhere, they would. {They are actually really looking forward to the day I get a wheelchair so they can get a ride}  I decided I would go ahead and get it and only use it when I absolutely needed it.  {Like when there is no parking or we are going to Disneyland} Just kidding, sort of.  My husband reminded me that it sucks to have a disease so I should at least enjoy the perks.  Today, I did not see it as a perk.  I was embarrassed.  I used my disabled person placard when I went to Target.  I was exhausted and knew I had to walk to the other side of the store.  I pulled my SUV into that front parking spot, took a deep breath and got my healthy looking body out of the car while helping my son hop out.  I was nervous.  I was afraid of what other people were going to think or say.  A tiny voice in my head told me not to care.  But I do care.  I look so healthy on the outside even though the inside of me crumbling. 

See, that's me today.  Not looking disabled am I?  Well, a man and women walked past my car as we were getting out and they whispered something.  Yes, this could have been me being paranoid but then when they got further away they stopped, turned around, pointed at me and said something.  Even though I was expecting to get looks, I wasn't expecting the negativity.  I said absolutely nothing to them.  But I wanted to.  I wanted to tell them that 2 years ago I parked in the furthest spot from the door because that is how I got my exercise.  I wanted to tell them that I have a disease that is destroying my muscles and I do not want to park there.  I did not wish for this nor would I wish it upon anyone.  It sucks.  I may just start wearing a sign around my neck that says "Please don't judge, I have a neuromuscular disease.  Ask me questions"  I may walk easily into the store but shuffle out.  I never know.  Today, my leg gave out right in the parking lot.  And then many more times in the store.  I had a strong grip on that shopping cart as I slowly made my way around the store.  I realized today that my Target shopping days are limited.  I know that whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger and  I now understand why the elderly are so wise.  If they made it that far, they have so much strength, knowledge and love. 

 How perfect is this one:

{2 corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.}

My Angels today 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

I would much rather spend my days at home all day with these 2

And this one

Ever see anything sweeter?

Have a beautiful, blessed Tuesday!