blog addict? maybe

I am so excited!!  First of all, I have a new and amazing photographer that can show you how excited I am:

Folks, she is that good!  Straight from the camera, getting all creative with the angles.  She's 6 :)

And why am I so excited you ask??  Because I reached 100 followers.  Never thought I would enjoy being stalked so much but it feels so good!

I might be a blog addict.  Or as I would prefer to look at it, I have a new best friend.  Blogger.  I am distancing myself with Facebook, don't want to end on bad terms you know?  Actually, I only go on Facebook to see what blogging friends have posted.
My husband said he has to be careful what he says because he sees the wheels spinning in my head on how I can turn our conversation into a blog.  And look here, I just did!  Everything that I do, I am thinking about writing.  Believe it or not, I think it is healthy.  Not just from an addict standpoint but because I don't watch t.v anymore.  Except for Greys Anatomy.  We will never break up.
My next door neighbor comes over with her kids and you know what we talk about? Blogs.  We will be friends forever.  She's even going to start her own blog, she really is, even if I start it for her.
I only get dressed when I am doing a fashion post, otherwise it's pj's for me.  I don't leave the house because what if I miss someones newest post?
When I see I have a new follower I jump for joy, just like when I get a letter in the mail.
Someone (whom I love dearly) once said, if I spent as much time as I do on the blog training our puppy, she could be amazing.  It's true.  Maybe I will train her to type?
So here I am, in love with blogging and all my new friends!!  Thanks for all of your friendships and sweet comments friends!!

I have feelings

I am a sensitive and emotional girl.  I always have been, even though I often pretend not to be, I know I always will be.  I try to change it, but not for me.  I try to toughen up, but not for me.  I put on a smile when I hurt and sometimes a nervous giggle will come out when I want to cry.  It's who I am and I actually don't want to change it.  I try to be brave for my children, but why?  If I show a tough exterior for them they will feel they need to be tough and I want them to feel with all their heart.  It's ok to be scared, it's ok to feel sad.  Sometimes that is where more love comes from.  If I am hurting or sad, I always come out on the other side fuller of love and joy.  It's ok to have so much joy in your heart that you feel you might burst.  To have so much laughter in your life that you are known for your uncontrollable snort.  We shouldn't have to suppress our happiness, ever.  I remember getting in trouble in class numerous times for laughing.  I understand if classmates are being disruptive, telling jokes, not paying attention.  But I would get the giggles for no apparent reason.  Or I would think of something really funny and have to control myself.  I was told to leave the classroom until I could regain my composure.  I sat outside laughing so hard I had tears running down my eyes and intense pain in my abdomen.  I have laughed out loud while walking alone because of a funny thought.  That is ok.  It is because I feel.  I feel with all my heart.  Good and bad.  I shouldn't be punished either way for feeling.

 It's who I am. I laugh, I cry, I love.

I am an emotional women 

I am a people pleaser
I am an open book 

I am vulnerable

I am happy

I am me

Who wrote this one? My husband??

Mrs. T naturally is doing a link up where someone close to you writes a post all about... you!  My guest today is my incredible husband, Anthony!

Hey all of Karen's blogging friends, I am Anthony her husband.  I'm probably going to embarrass her with what I write so hopefully she doesn't edit it.  Karen is the beautiful mother of our 2 children.  She has so much strength, it amazes me.  With all of her health problems that she has been dealing with on a daily basis, she is still able to kick ass.  She sets her goals high, maybe too high for someone with a mitochondrial disease.  When she should be resting, she is busy cleaning the house (obsessively) and raising our kids.   She even does a part time home-school program with them.  I don't know how she does it all because I know I can't.  She has the patience of a saint and can tolerate so much.  She is the best mom around, giving our kids so much love.  She has shown such a deep appreciation for life. She gets frustrated when she is forced to slow down but will quickly change her attitude into gratitude for what she does have and what she can do.  Karen laughs a lot.  Her smile is what attracted me to her when we first met.  Well, that and some other things... 

I've got a happy life

A happy life is just a string of happy moments.  But most people don't allow the happy moment, because they are so busy trying to get a happy life.
~ Abraham Hicks

I love every moment with my family.  I have a happy life!
Stay tuned for my next post with a very special guest {hint: it's someone in this picture}

Random happenings

I have been writing down what sounds like great little blog ideas and then when I read them later, I am thankful I didn't post any of them.  So instead, here's a random post of what has been taking place in my camera phone recently:

1) Wyatt at his {every 6 month} audiology appointment

2) Date night with the kids at our local airport

3) This needs no explanation

4) Home made hair cuts happen here

 check out the look he's giving me

4 going on 14?

5) Fall crafts

Happy Monday

Expectations

A few years ago a friend of mine was saying she needed to lower her expectations for her family.  My head cocked sideways as if to say, "I don't quite understand".  Lower your expectations?  What does that even mean?  You have expectations?  But now I get it.  What I expect doesn't happen.  I expect to leave for the grocery store and come home to a clean house, but I don't.  I expect to sleep all night and not have someone or something wake me up, but I don't.  I expect to have patience when I'm about to loose it, but I don't.  Because I can't physically do all the things I used to, I have to lower my expectations.  But I don't. I too have high expectations of my family.  I used to run up and down the stairs carrying several loads of laundry with out a problem.  I would vacuum with a child on my back and then go outside to mow the lawn {with child still on my back} just so my husband wouldn't have to do it on his day off.  I would then go wash my car because I love having a clean car and I would do my best to keep my house clean because to ME, a clean house keeps me at ease.  It's one of those things where I can't relax unless it's all done.  I used to want floors that could be eaten off of but now I just want floors that don't crunch when I walk on them.  My husbands philosphy is why clean them when they are just going to get dirty again?  This is where I have to lower my expectations.  If I can't get the job done and I can't pay for someone to do the work for me, I have to accept that the life I had before {where I did it all myself} is gone.  Gone with the wind, taken out with the trash, won't be back no more no more no more.  Accept that my butt!!  Nope, instead I throw a fit and yell at everyone to clean up and do their own laundry and pick their stuff up.  I am patient for so long until I snap.  This morning, I snapped.  I was supposed to be staying in bed today, but instead my husband had to work over time.  A bitter sweet.  Sweet for the obvious financial reasons but bitter because I wanted this break like nobody's business.  I should lower my expectations.  I should not have had high hopes for sleep, a day of relaxing.  If I didn't expect it, I wouldn't be feeling so overwhelmed.  But I am.  I snapped at the kids and yelled so loud that I'm pretty sure the neighbors were all outside listening.  In the meantime...

this cutie was peeing on the carpet

As I was cleaning her mess the kids were in Alexis' room when I heard them scream for me.

This is what happened.  They were putting their laundry away like I had asked {demanded, whatever} and her dresser fell over.  I am so thankful they were not standing in harms way and I took this as a HUGE wake up call.  Lower my freaking expecations.  Got it!!  I'm going with the flow {for the rest of the day anyway}.  The house will stay a mess and I will get over it... eventually.

The day became wonderful as it always does.  I met a wonderful person at dog training and she helped me with Freedom and her now infected incision.  My dad was a huge help as always and stayed with the kids and the day just became bright.  I slowed down.  All I needed to do was take a deep breath and feel good.  One simple thing we can all do and it works so well.  That deep appreciative breath I took calmed me down and turned my day around.  I get to spend the rest of the day with just the kids and dogs and do nothing but love on them. The bitter is gone and I am feeling the sweet of my husband working hard for our family {and the cute outfit I just bought, shh don't tell him}  Shoot, he reads these blogs :) Love you honey and everything you do for us!!

Mitochondrial Awareness Week

It's Mitochondrial awareness week so I wanted to have a little post to bring awareness to you all.
Think back to biology class when we apparently learned about mitochondria {those things that are responsible for producing most (90%) of the energy that's needed for our cells to function}  I say apparently because I don't remember much from biology except that my bff was in the class and we passed notes the ENTIRE time.  Anyway, when you have a mitochondrial disease it can shut down some or all of the mitochondria, cutting off this very important energy supply.  Since it can effect one type of cell or many types of cells, the symptoms vary from each person.  Which means the doctors can not give you any kind of an answer as far as what to expect.  They just don't know yet.  Muscle and nerve cells have such a high energy demand and since they aren't getting it the result is "you become jacked up".  {Those are my words}  My personal symptoms with it include: muscle weakness {like I can't squat over a toilet anymore which is a huge deal because even though my bladder needs to empty itself every 30 minutes, I refuse to use public restrooms}. I'm talking weakness where some days it's hard to hold my head up because the muscles in my neck are so weak.  I can't carry my kids or hold anything for more than a few minutes before my arms become useless and then need to recover.  Every day I feel like I did a huge workout but I didn't because I have exercise intolerance {I used to walk at least a couple of miles a day pushing a double stroller, participated in the breast cancer 3 day (60 miles) twice, and did all those crazy work out videos daily. Not anymore}  Now what do I do?

I sit and relax keeping my mind occupied with Blogs, Facebook, E-mail oh and I have 2 kids and 2 dogs that need constant attention.  So I rest as much as I can but really I am using up all the energy I have to love on my family.  Totally worth it!!

I also deal with migraines and heart palpitations (pvc's) and some breathing problems.  I've got some other problems too but I'm not going to bore you with it.

One of the days this week (I think Sat or Sun) is National Stay In Bed Day to support mito.  Since I can't remember exactly which day it is, I have decided to stay in bed both just so I don't miss it.

Wanna join me?

I have another appointment with the neurologist next month and I am hoping and praying for some more answers.  If you want to read about my previous appointments you can do that here or here.

As for now, my future is bright.  I am surrounded by love.  I see the light in life and always will.  This little disease of mine doesn't define who I am.  I am a happy person and consider myself beyond blessed for the amazing life I have had.  Not many people can say that they had the best life from birth till now, but I honestly can.

I gotta tell you, I have learned so much from all of this.  I've learned so much on the value of life and love.  I pray to God that there will be a cure tomorrow and all of the ick will go away.  I promise to take the lessons I learned and be a better person.  I want to be there for my kids when they grow up.  I want to play hard like we used to.  I want to jump rope.

Post-it Love

I have been blessed with true love.  I married my best friend, my number one fan, and the hottest guy I know.  He has been quite busy lately between work and all of his extra projects but we still manage to make time for each other.  When he gets home today he'll find post-its everywhere just to let him know how much I love him.

I stuck  them everywhere, even in the fridge. I did however avoid areas of the house that he is unaware we have, like the laundry room ;)
I encourage you to take a moment to find a creative way to let your special love know how much you love them!

What was that noise??

The past few nights while I am laying in bed falling asleep I hear what sounds like someone hopping over our back fence and landing on the deck.  I have been trying very hard to not allow my mind to wonder and assume worst case scenerio which is quite a challenge for me.  I heard the noise again and assumed it was those darn seeds that fall from the ficus tree in our backyard, landing on the deck.

 These seeds fall everywhere especially this time of year and they can certainly make a loud noise in the still of the night.  But then I would go outside in the morning and saw that the dog bowl was completely empty when I know a few crumbs were leftover from dinner.

This could only mean one thing....

 This guy has been breaking in, stealing the dogs left overs and disturbing my sleep.

He or she hangs out in the ficus tree and waits for the house to be still which would mean the dogs are sleeping and the humans have the guns put away.  He or she then makes it's debut jumping onto the deck  and ransacking the backyard.  Creep.  Stay out of our yard!!

Hyster Sisters

The morning started at 5:59 when I heard the little whimper.  I quickly got up and took Freedom outside to do her business and then came back in to get myself ready.  It was a big big day for her.  She would be getting her hysterectomy.  Ya, ya, in dogs they call it spade but I call it what it is.  Her parts were removed.  I had one 2 1/2 years ago so now we have a special bond.  We are hyster sisters. {I didn't have mine done by a vet}

She acted like she had no idea what was happening but I talked to her about it last night.  She really seemed to be ok with everything, like it wasn't going to be a big deal.  But for some reason she cried for half of the car ride and became a little skittish when we entered the vets office.  What's with the smell of those places? We had never been to this office before but it came recommended by a JRT breeder so I went with it.  This place was like a sweat shop.  Extremely busy but totally organized.  I'm not sure if sweat shops are like that or not but I am assuming so.  I dropped my fur baby off, shed a tear on my way out and then cried some more in the car.  If you haven't figured out yet, I am an emotional person.  I just got a little scared about the whole anesthesia thing and thinking how scared she was for that entire 2 minutes before they started her IV.

I had 3 hours to keep myself busy before she would be ready so I headed over to do some shopping.  That would surely make me feel better.  Except that when I got to the empty parking lot I realized nothing is open at 8:00 am!!  So I sat in my car on this chilly foggy morning and people watched.  There was a Starbucks nearby but I was enjoying my hot tea from my broken travel mug in my car.  There was some guy pacing in front of Bed Bath and Beyond with out a shirt!  I kept my distance but couldn't stop staring.  Totally rude of me, I know.

I got back before 11 and my baby was ready.  Totally unresponsive to me and stoned out of her mind.  It was time to pay and it was much more than what I was quoted.  I promised myself a few months ago I would start speaking up in situations like this.  It would have been easy for me to say, um, I thought I heard you say it was $xx not $XX.  Simple right.  No.  Instead I handed over my credit card and have been trying to think of a way to explain to my husband why I once again didn't speak up.  Next time this sort of thing happens I am gonna rock it!  Or cry.... whatever, as long as I don't have to spend extra money.

This dog has been out of it all day and I'm kind of liking it now... as long as she sleeps through the night.

I'm pretty sure she isn't in any pain.

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Have a wonderful Friday... unless you are on the other side of the world, in that case, hope your Friday was great!

Catching lizards

One thing our house has is plenty of lizards.  Itty bitty baby ones and big fat pregnant ones.  I like them hanging around because they eat the spiders, and I do NOT like spiders.  Wyatt loves to catch the lizards and Alexis will try but gets a little freaked out.

This little girl tries too but prefers to catch crickets.

Linking up:

Remembering...

Remembering the men and women that lost their lives 10 years ago.
Remembering the children that lost their mothers and fathers 10 years ago.
Remembering the mothers and fathers who lost their children 10 years ago.
Remembering the brothers and sisters that lost their siblings 10 years ago.
Too many lives were lost and 10 years later I WILL NOT FORGET!!
What kind of person runs into burning buildings when everyone else is running out?  A hero.  Everyday these heros risk their lives to save others.  I married a hero.  I married someone who runs into burning buildings and comes home with black stuff coming out of his nose.  I married someone that loves his job and wants to protect and help other people.   Today we celebrated the lives lost of the innocent people that were affected by 9-11 and for the firefighters and police doing their job to save them.  We celebrated the military for fighting for our freedom and keeping us safe.

 These boys did a remembrance hike this morning climbing 1.5 miles up 1500 feet of elevation (totaling 3 miles) on a  hike symbolizing the steps and distance in the towers that the firefighters climbed.

 About 200 people from our community showed up for the event.

 A son who idolizes his father

 The fire department put on a ceremony for the town with beautiful speeches, music, and performers.  There were military, police and fire personnel with all their apparatus on display.

 My boys

We will never forget what happened that September day!