Monday, November 28, 2011

I would do it all over again



I asked my husband if he thinks he would have chosen to have children with me knowing what we know now about my health?  If we knew that I had genetic mutations that could easily be passed onto our children, would he do it all over again? Quickly realizing that this was a ridiculous question... one similar to, 'do these jeans make me look fat?'

He responded with, "Yes, of course.  The moment the kids were born, I couldn't remember life before them.  It's not even a question."

I guess I started feeling guilty that I could have passed something on to them that would cause them to struggle later in life.  But then again, I don't necessarily look at my life as a struggle.  Sure, walking can be tricky at times but I am often strong enough to do many things and definitely mentally strong enough to think I can do anything.  {In fact I cleaned one room in our house for an hour the other day, feeling great until I hit the wall and was on the couch for the next 4 hours.  But that clean room was totally worth it.}

I would do it all over again.
I would not take back anything that I have done knowing what I know now.  Except that I might have not walked in the 60 mile walk that they think triggered all of this.  That, I am sort of regretting.
I agree with  my husband, I cannot imagine my life without our children.  I'm sure I would be well rested but other than that, I would have missed out on all the laughter, all the cuddles, all the love.  I would have missed out on witnessing the miracle, the gift God gave us.  They have over-filled my heart and continue to do so daily.  I am so grateful for not knowing my future because what if I decided not to have them?  I would have missed out on so much.  More than I could ever imagine.



We have beautiful and healthy children.  Children that bring so much joy to the world.  {At least to my world}
Children that are not showing any signs of the same illness.  Although the doctors told us it would most likely show up as adults like mine did.
Even with the bad health that has challenged me, I do have a lot of good health too.  For that, I am grateful.
I have days where I feel so good that I am sure I am ridding all of the bad parts.  Today was like that.  Until the evening when all the days energy zapped right out, but it was totally worth having a great day.  Knowing that there are great days ahead make each day a blessing.  That's how we get through the bad days.
We are not in control of our life.  He gets to decide what we get and what we don't get.  All we have to do is live in joy and be grateful for everything we are provided.  And we have been provided with plenty!

35 comments:

  1. Love you & your perspective! Keep fighting & keep living!

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  2. I think that's something a lot of us forget, including me. He is in control and we should be grateful for our lives, through good and bad. Hope you are doing well Karen.

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  3. reminds me of the movie the family man...love that movie this time of year ;)

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  4. This is so honest and beautiful. It's almost a blessing that you didn't know before because you didn't have to agonize over the decision. And what an amazing husband you have. May you all be blessed by this time in your lives.

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  5. i love that first photo. even through the tears i have from reading your heart. so grateful for your testimony of trust and rest in jesus.

    love you, dear one.

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  6. This is beautifully written and definitely made me smile :)

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  7. Gosh you are beautiful... and so are your kids. Love your raw honesty Karen. Hope you guys' had a great Thanksgiving. :)

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  8. What a great photo. I love the look on your daughter's face. Glad you are having good days. And of course you would do it again, we all would even when it doesn't go the way we want.

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  9. I love that picture of the three of you and so glad that you enjoyed your Thanksgiving!

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  10. You have a great outlook Karen.. I love this post... are there any new updates in regards to your condition?

    ♥HH

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  11. karen you made me weepy. keep on keepin on girl.
    i love you and your amazing faith and heart.
    xo

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  12. Such a positive outlook on things. I like your blog and personality.

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  13. This is beautiful. and you are beautiful. This makes my heart happy!

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  14. Beautiful pictures of you and your kiddos, Karen. Lovely outlook too.

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  15. hey...is that one of those celeb's with kids shots? looks like it, you gorgeous girl!

    i feel incredibly inadequate commenting here, 'cause my trials are far different from yours. no matter how hard one tries thoughts like that 'get in', glad to see you are doing a good job of not letting those same thoughts 'get to you' ~ as you know those precious babes belong to God anyway...try & leave the worrying about genetic make up to him ;)

    1 Timothy 4:4-5 ~ i have MUCH to learn about this verse :)

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  16. BEAUTIFUL photo up there at the top!!!

    I know how easy it is to doubt things sometimes, but you gave those children LIFE! A life with a medical issue, or any other trial, is better than no life at all. That I feel certain of, especially after getting to know you. You have such a special way of looking at life, and I love that about you!

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  17. Everything happens for a reason... the good and the bad..... I regret not taking care of my diabetes all those years and causing myself to have a massive heart attack that left me with all this damage in my heart BUT I am so much better now because of it. Mentally and physically.

    Same for you I'm sure :)

    For some reason we had to go through this crap but good WILL come out of it for you. I know it will.

    I love your positivity Karen! you rock!

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  18. When we put our Hope in Christ all things work for His glory.

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  19. I loved reading this. Your positivity is truly inspiring! God has amazing plans for you and your lovely children. You are beautiful inside and out!

    "For I know the plans I have for you," Declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

    Jeremiah 29:11

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  20. God blessed you with your beautiful children for a reason....for love, laughter and so much more. Each day you are blessing them with your positive spirit. Take care!

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  21. don't feel guilty karen, you have two beautiful children and a husband i can tell who absolutely adores you! you do a great job at living in happiness because of a Father who loves you dearly, and regardless of what has happened you continue to look forward and look for the best in everything :-)

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  22. So true, we don't get to decide but you seem to recognize all his blessings through all your trials! What an inspiration you are!

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  23. Happy Thanksgiving! :)
    I think that everything does happen for a reason, and that you're finding a new way of living, and seeing life a different way than you did before and that is a blessing! :)

    PS you just got yourself a new follower. And don't feel guilty for genetics...you wouldn't have the kids you have today if you didn't take that risk!

    http://annawalker1992.blogspot.com/

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  24. Your kiddos are adorable! I agree with your husband. I can't imagine life before kids. No matter what, you'd do it all again because you'd miss the blessing of what you have right now. Life is full of challenges but I appreciate how you take the good with the bad. You have such great perspective. Praying for you.

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  25. what an amazing story and post! you are inspiring!

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  26. This is so beautiful! I too feel the same way about marrying my husband and having my kids, my life before seems to be from another lifetime, like it wasn't even me. Your family is inspirational, I am glad to share in your life through your blog. :)

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  27. i honestly think you and your family are absolutely radiant.

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  28. This is such a sweet post. Your kids are going to love reading your blog someday!

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  29. You are so beautiful and your kids are just adorable, I love these pics. You are a poistive and inspiring woman Karen...have a happy day!!

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  30. Ohhh, this is so inspiring!! Having a physical disability myself, I've often thought about things like this. :)

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  31. This was so inspiring keep be blessed and everything has a plan.. May God bless You!

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  32. You husband sounds like such a good guy and sweet person...loved this! I still am so inspired by you every time I stop by...your strength and elegance, inside and out!

    Liesl :)

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  33. You are such a blessing:) so encouraging.

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