A new chapter

A few months ago we made the decision to sell the boat.  We weren't using it as much and with my health we weren't going to be able to use it at all for a while until I got better.  We could always get another one later I told myself. Boating is something I have been doing since I was in diapers.  It was in my blood.

I didn't think I would react the way I did when we actually did sell it.  After a couple of months keeping it posted on Craigslist and only 3 viewings and a handful of phone calls, we were getting nervous that it might be harder to sell than we thought.  Not everybody loves our boat the way we do I guess.  Then on Father's Day weekend we got a call from a guy who was very interested and wanted it right away.  He lives up near Bass Lake so that Monday we met him halfway.... in BAKERSFIELD!!

It ended up being a very nice road trip with just Anthony and would have been better had I not been crying hysterically the entire drive up.  I kept thinking of all the wonderful memories we had as a family.  I could hear the giggles and screams of the kids.  I could hear the 454 engine start up on the boat dock and smell the exhaust, which to me is better than any perfume I have ever smelt.  I could feel the hot wind blowing in my face as we were cruising down the lake at 60mph.  I could smell the cottonwoods as we travel up the river.  I always had a permanent smile on my face in Lake Havasu on our boat.  THAT was my happy place.  I was so upset to be leaving that part of my life behind and just keeping it in memories.  More upset because of the reason we had to leave it behind.  It was my fault that we couldn't continue to take our Havasu trips and spend the summer in 110 degree heat.

Our frequent trips out to Havasu and all the family time we spent together has made us who we are today.  I am so grateful for all of the time we were able to spend enjoying the river together.  We have been blessed!

So... after the transaction was made, I counted the money and realized that money doesn't buy this girl happiness and we sadly drove home.  After a good 10 minutes of crying I started laughing at the fact that I was reacting this way over a BOAT!  It is a materialistic object!!  Yes, it brought us many happy memories but anything can bring us happy memories as long as we are together.  I was acting ridiculous allowing myself to become so attached to an object, a replaceable object.  So, we enjoyed the rest of the road trip having uninterrupted conversations and excited to get off the road and back with the kids to start new memories.

Time to close this chapter and open a new one.  What could be in store for us next??
It might take some serious convincing, but I know what I have my eye on....

Appreciating Dad's

This Blog is dedicated to the Father's in my life...

Father's Day is a day to celebrate and show appreciation towards the Dad's in my life.  The men who provide us with unconditional love and support.  The men who guide us, protect us, and provide for us.  These men stand by my side through thick and thin, showing their soft sides and their strength.  

Anthony has been an amazing father to our children since day 1 where he was literally standing with gloves on his hands, ready to deliver our baby until the doctor came running in for the catch.  He has been our provider and teacher, showing us balance and love.  He is a child at heart and always will be.  Our children look up to him as the true hero he is.  The children crave his attention when he returns home from work and I sit back and watch (patiently waiting my turn) as they break out into a wrestling match or tickle fest or just get smothered with hugs and kisses.

Here is the video I made for him:

My dad has taught me so much about life.  He has taught me to be an independent women, make my own choices, follow my heart, enjoy every moment in life.  He protected me as a child when I awoke in the middle of the night with a bad dream.  He went and slept on the couch when I wasn't feeling well and I wanted to sleep next to my mom.  He taught me to drive stick shift (sorry about the neck pain) and let me put the peddle to the medal on his brand new mustang.  (He might not remember giving me permission for this one but I do)  And more recently, he has helped me take care of my kids when Anthony is at work, or driven with me to Dr's. appointments.  For all of this, I am grateful.

Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's out there, especially the ones in my life!!

Summer Break

Schools out... for the summer!!! I have been looking forward to this day since the beginning of September. I am not one of those moms that likes to send the kids off so I can get "me time." In fact, if I do have time for myself in an empty house, I get lonely and can't wait for the kids to return. I do like the occasional escape to the nail salon or lunch with friends though!! Actually, I love those escapes. But as most of you know, the school year was a bit of a struggle getting a certain kindergartner to happily and willingly leave in the morning. I totally get it, it is way more fun at home. Freedom to do whatever, whenever. Now we are officially on Summer Vacation!! Sleeping in, (and when the June gloom goes away, waking up to the sun beating through the window) taking our time to eat a nice big breakfast, art projects, playing outside anytime, swimming, just enjoying every moment together.

Here Alexis is making a placemat

We even used glitter and I got in on the action and made one with fireworks

After all the glitter and paint we needed a fun way to clean up... Wyatt helped with that

Then it was time for pedicures... *photo courtesy of Wyatt

I am not wonder women nor will I ever claim to be so while I am enjoying the day with the kids, the dishes will sit in the sink... possibly until tomorrow when they triple in size.

It is 2:00 now and we are pooped. (we meaning me) I am going to have to pace myself so they don't spend the rest of the day watching t.v, which would be absolutely fine with me if they did.

Happy Summer Vacation everybody!!! Enjoy the longer days and the sunshine (with sunscreen)

Hope in the midst of frustration

"God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us...can see a possibility of hope"

Maya Angelou

It has been 20 days since I began taking my "mito-cocktail" and unfortunately I am actually feeling worse, significantly worse. There have been more "bad" days than "good" days lately which is really frightening. I have become intolerant to the heat and get sexy rashes on my legs.

I realize some of you may not think this looks sexy, but that is your opinion. When I am outside and at the weather is below 65* this is what happens to my hands... (this has been going on for years... nothing new)

Walking up the stairs has always been tough but I feel the pain on the 3rd step now instead of the 6th... and we have 18 in our house.

I have pain in my legs while laying in bed and nothing I do elevates the pain, except a massage from my great husband. My speech will get slurred occasionally. My muscles so weak they wobble and shake. Limited reflexes make my feet feel weird when I walk. I never had problem with headaches... until now. I am pretty sure they are stemming from the weakness in my neck so if I veg out on the couch I can quickly feel better. However... I have 2 young children so that only lasts for a few minutes at a time. Anthony will tell me to just lay down and take a nap. Somehow he is able to take a great power nap when he's with the kids. I have no idea how the kids don't ask for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or need help in the bathroom in those 20 minutes. He has even been successful in getting Wyatt (our 4 year old) to fall asleep with him!

So, recently I have spent much of my time laying down or sitting in my new zero gravity lawn chair watching the beautiful life around me. Hopeful that soon I will feel better and be able to take this experience and grow so much from it. I am so grateful for the support that I have, yet I still have a very hard time asking anyone for help. I know that I will be needing it more in the future and I don't want to burn anyone out.

We must enjoy every moment we have... like I have said before, we don't know what our future holds. Make today your best day ever! Live in the moment! Be aware of what is going on around you right now. Instead of daydreaming about the future or the past, open your eyes to what is right now. This is what we have and it is beautiful. I am grateful when the kids snap me out of a daydream because it brings me back to now, the most important time. Everyone can get through a moment and before you know it you will have conquered something huge.

I will continue to climb the stairs for I know there is a beautiful view at the top.

"Once you choose hope, anything is possible"

~Christopher Reeves

Change

Change is inevitable. It's going to happen no matter what. Seasons change (sort of in San Diego) people change, feelings change, life changes. There are many songs about it. The Brady Bunch even sang about it.

I love change. My daughter fears change. As a baby I was constantly stimulating her with something different and exciting. Everyday we went somewhere new. Routine was not something she took well to. And then it all changed. It takes her a very long time to adjust to anything new. The beginning of kindergarten was a huge change... I realize that is a big one on its own. However, it took her 1 month to finally accept the change of a new teacher. 1 month of screaming and crying EVERY morning. She did great for the year until.... a SUBSTITUTE!!! As soon as we were walking up to her line I felt her hand squeeze tightly in mine. I used every positive word in the book and showed so much excitement for her but nope, she wasn't going. I had to sit outside with her until she calmed down enough to go sit in class. Of course I went in with her and sat in the back. 45 minutes later she was still crying. I know many people will disapprove of my decision but I took her home. It wasn't worth the pain for her or me. I taught her at home instead and she was happy as can be. The next day came.... another substitute!!! We had a long talk the night before about what we were going to do and how strong she was going to be. Nope. She came home with me again. Day 3... oh please teacher come back already! I don't need to get up early and rush out of the house for nothing. Phew, her teacher was back. The same teacher that took 1 month for her to be comfortable with was now her security. It's a good thing she only goes to school 3 days a week (home-schooled the other 2).

Today, Alexis lost her second tooth. The first one was very exciting for her but as soon as the next one became loose, she didn't want it to fall out. She wouldn't even eat today because it was bothering her so much and she feared that it would fall out. The poor child was starving so I let her suck on chocolate chips. It fell out in her mouth full of chocolate and she looked at me with big eyes, tooth in her hand and started crying. Then she started spitting because it felt weird. Spitting chocolate everywhere. After an hour she adapted to the "change" and was finally happy about the tooth fairy coming tonight. Some changes that happen are big and for her it's no big deal. She cut over 10 inches off her hair to donate to Locks of Love and she was happy about it the whole time. No big deal. A moving truck was parked on our street with new neighbors moving in.... BIG deal. She wanted that truck removed immediately. Could care less about the fact new people were moving in, the truck needed to go.

Change is something we all have to learn how to deal with. Go with the flow, let life happen, let go of resistance. Life is great! If He brings us to it He will bring us through it. No need to worry now right?