Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Finding Him

When I was a child my biggest fear was the dark {it's still kind of is}
When I became an adolescent my biggest fear was being attacked
When I became a mother my biggest fear was losing my child
Today I realized my biggest fear is none of those at all.  My biggest fear is to live with out God.  He is the one in control of my life.  With out Him, I would not be able to get through any of the challenges in my life.  With Him, there is no fear.  He is always by my side.  He is always listening to me.  He is always putting up with me and then forgiving me for being difficult.  He is always teaching me.  He is patient.  He has made my life perfect for me.

I found Him on my own when I was a young child.  My parents were both of different faiths and when they got married they decided to not force religion upon us.  As a child watching my friends dread church, I was thankful but at the same time I was so confused.  I didn't understand ANYTHING about faith.  I was not educated in this area at all and when I would go to my parents they would tell me how different religions have different beliefs.  It still didn't give me an answer because they didn't tell us what to believe.  In their eyes there wasn't a right or wrong.  At some point, I just knew that there was a God. I would sit in my room and talk to him.  I would pretend like he would send me messages in code through books that I read.  The older I became, the closer I was with Him.  He is my best friend who walks with me every moment of every day.  This is a journey I have taken on my own and part of me thinks that is why it is so true.  I have not had other people telling me how it is, I just know.


20 comments:

  1. What a beautiful testimony! I love the image of a child just sitting in her bedroom talking to God like a friend. Beautiful! I want my kids to feel God in that same way.

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  2. Beautiful post, Karen. I love that you felt his presence and knew him even though it wasn't being taught at home. That speaks volumes about the kind of God we have. Love you!

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  3. Such a lovely post Karen, I feel the same way, also Adams father and I are of different faiths and we are not going to force anything on him.

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  4. Beautiful Karen! What a wonderful thing that you found Him on your own....so many different ways to come to God, all of them truly beautiful.

    Your first paragraph (about fear) is something I can definitely relate to...and we have just started a new study series in our Sunday School class based on the book Fearless by Max Lucado!

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  5. Wow... I got caught up reading this post. How beautiful. I'm glad I found you on Blogger <3

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  6. loooooooove this post. "I just know." Exactly. I ALWAYS fear something happening to one of my kids but I also know that God is in control and if God forbid something DID happen, HE would be the one with them and taking care of them.

    However I try not to think about that though ;) But I did love this post very much. I agree with every word!

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  7. beautiful Karen, God has captured your heart and has drawn Himself closer to you because you draw close to Him. and that feeling there was just a God somewhere out there totally Him and totally His plan to be your savior it is a lovely thing

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  8. so glad i found this blog, this was beautiful!

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  9. beautiful beautiful post, karen!! i have a lot of the same fears and also connect with you about choosing faiths, as my parents had two different faiths and had me in a catholic private school (weird! but good for me) and today it all just boils down to your relationship with God as YOU see it. I love this post! xoxo

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  10. Beautiful post!! I'm so glad that you found God! A life without God would be terrible, horrible, painful. I don't even want to think about it!!

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  11. What a gorgeous post. I appreciate the bloggers who have the confidence to write about their love of God. It's so controversial, but you've come across with such poise and adoration - it's beautiful. xo

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  12. Beautiful post! My parents didn't teach us much about religion and mostly it has left me confused...still.

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  13. beautiful Karen. On the contrary, I grew up in a Christian home and I totally can relate to those friends who dreaded church. I always called myself a Christian, but did I always actively pursue it as a choice and follow as if I was? I'm not sure. But now I have gotten to that point where it is a personal choice and it is everything I hold my life up to. It is so amazing to see the different experiences and journeys that God takes us through to get to Him! :)

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  14. Karen, Wow! What a great perspective. I love how you worded it, "The biggest fear is to live without God." I think having the assurance of God being in control of everything is what has gotten me through the last couple of months. It's a peace that's hard to describe to someone who doesn't have it. Something about this reminded me of Romans Ch. 1 and Ch. 8.

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  15. WOW! I love your words. I have had all those same fears as well. I love how candid and real you were as you were explaining everything. I also love your blog pics of your family... precious.

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  16. This is such a beautiful post. I love the image of ou speaking to God as a young child and reading messages/code from him in books. Even at my age, I like to think God still does communicate with us in ways like these. Sometimes I find myself at the right place and the right time and reading something that is SO appropriate to my life and what I needed to read/hear...and I like to think God planned it that way. :)

    xoxo

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  17. This is such an encouraging post! I just found your blog through my sister, Brit from A Journey Down Twenty-Something, and I love it! Looking forward to reading more : )

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  18. Gorgeous photo and I'm tellin' ya... I think we were cut from the same cloth. I had the exact same experience with religion also and I believe the same way you believe. It's like you're in my head when you write..... do you also feel like you're more spiritual than religious and do you take things from different beliefs and apply them to your life?

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  19. Wow that's powerful and beautiful. I wish I had that strong belief but I too grew up without an understanding. I am glad you have that comfort though.

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