Finding Him

When I was a child my biggest fear was the dark {it's still kind of is}
When I became an adolescent my biggest fear was being attacked
When I became a mother my biggest fear was losing my child
Today I realized my biggest fear is none of those at all.  My biggest fear is to live with out God.  He is the one in control of my life.  With out Him, I would not be able to get through any of the challenges in my life.  With Him, there is no fear.  He is always by my side.  He is always listening to me.  He is always putting up with me and then forgiving me for being difficult.  He is always teaching me.  He is patient.  He has made my life perfect for me.

I found Him on my own when I was a young child.  My parents were both of different faiths and when they got married they decided to not force religion upon us.  As a child watching my friends dread church, I was thankful but at the same time I was so confused.  I didn't understand ANYTHING about faith.  I was not educated in this area at all and when I would go to my parents they would tell me how different religions have different beliefs.  It still didn't give me an answer because they didn't tell us what to believe.  In their eyes there wasn't a right or wrong.  At some point, I just knew that there was a God. I would sit in my room and talk to him.  I would pretend like he would send me messages in code through books that I read.  The older I became, the closer I was with Him.  He is my best friend who walks with me every moment of every day.  This is a journey I have taken on my own and part of me thinks that is why it is so true.  I have not had other people telling me how it is, I just know.