Expectations

A few years ago a friend of mine was saying she needed to lower her expectations for her family.  My head cocked sideways as if to say, "I don't quite understand".  Lower your expectations?  What does that even mean?  You have expectations?  But now I get it.  What I expect doesn't happen.  I expect to leave for the grocery store and come home to a clean house, but I don't.  I expect to sleep all night and not have someone or something wake me up, but I don't.  I expect to have patience when I'm about to loose it, but I don't.  Because I can't physically do all the things I used to, I have to lower my expectations.  But I don't. I too have high expectations of my family.  I used to run up and down the stairs carrying several loads of laundry with out a problem.  I would vacuum with a child on my back and then go outside to mow the lawn {with child still on my back} just so my husband wouldn't have to do it on his day off.  I would then go wash my car because I love having a clean car and I would do my best to keep my house clean because to ME, a clean house keeps me at ease.  It's one of those things where I can't relax unless it's all done.  I used to want floors that could be eaten off of but now I just want floors that don't crunch when I walk on them.  My husbands philosphy is why clean them when they are just going to get dirty again?  This is where I have to lower my expectations.  If I can't get the job done and I can't pay for someone to do the work for me, I have to accept that the life I had before {where I did it all myself} is gone.  Gone with the wind, taken out with the trash, won't be back no more no more no more.  Accept that my butt!!  Nope, instead I throw a fit and yell at everyone to clean up and do their own laundry and pick their stuff up.  I am patient for so long until I snap.  This morning, I snapped.  I was supposed to be staying in bed today, but instead my husband had to work over time.  A bitter sweet.  Sweet for the obvious financial reasons but bitter because I wanted this break like nobody's business.  I should lower my expectations.  I should not have had high hopes for sleep, a day of relaxing.  If I didn't expect it, I wouldn't be feeling so overwhelmed.  But I am.  I snapped at the kids and yelled so loud that I'm pretty sure the neighbors were all outside listening.  In the meantime...

this cutie was peeing on the carpet

As I was cleaning her mess the kids were in Alexis' room when I heard them scream for me.

This is what happened.  They were putting their laundry away like I had asked {demanded, whatever} and her dresser fell over.  I am so thankful they were not standing in harms way and I took this as a HUGE wake up call.  Lower my freaking expecations.  Got it!!  I'm going with the flow {for the rest of the day anyway}.  The house will stay a mess and I will get over it... eventually.

The day became wonderful as it always does.  I met a wonderful person at dog training and she helped me with Freedom and her now infected incision.  My dad was a huge help as always and stayed with the kids and the day just became bright.  I slowed down.  All I needed to do was take a deep breath and feel good.  One simple thing we can all do and it works so well.  That deep appreciative breath I took calmed me down and turned my day around.  I get to spend the rest of the day with just the kids and dogs and do nothing but love on them. The bitter is gone and I am feeling the sweet of my husband working hard for our family {and the cute outfit I just bought, shh don't tell him}  Shoot, he reads these blogs :) Love you honey and everything you do for us!!